Anger that is out of control can be severely damaging to you and to your relationships. Fortunately, it is also one of the most easily treatable emotional conditions, and through counselling you can learn how to change this pattern.

When people have problems with anger, they often experience anger as being explosive. It is as if things are going along ok and then, all of a sudden, the anger comes upon them in an instant. While this is how anger can feel, there is usually a build-up in anger that happens over time, even if it is only seconds or minutes. The problem is, we are usually not aware of this buildup happening.

When you come to therapy for anger issues, the core focus of our work together is developing an awareness of how the anger builds up in you. In effect, you are learning how to slow down time, so that everything happens in slow motion. You will notice how your body sensations change, how your thoughts change, and how your feelings change in the period when anger is building (even if the period is only seconds). Being able to slow down time is a powerful tool in helping you make changes to your anger reaction.

Once you are able to recognize the patterns developing that lead up to anger, you will learn how to make changes to those patterns on the fly, preventing the anger explosion. You may still be angry about the things that bothered you before, but how you deal with that anger will change, resulting in better feelings about yourself and more peaceful relationships with the people you love and the people you work with.

Reducing the angry feelings in general is another part of working with anger. This is deeper work that involves uncovering and healing the unresolved issues that caused anger to begin with. It also involves learning to practice meditation and compassion for oneself and for others. If you live in Victoria, BC and want to learn how to manage your anger, give me a call and we can set up a counselling appointment.

Ben Kotler Counsellor

Ben Kotler, MA, RCC

Victoria Address: 1517 Amelia St, Victoria, BC V8W 2J9
Duncan Address: 111 Station Street, Suite 202, Duncan, BC V9L 1M8
Ph: 250-634-1634 ( iPhone Texting Available )
Fax: 1-888-684-6922